Your Energy Is Everything: How to Attract Success Through Positive Vibes

Originally published as Episode 18 of Never Stop Dreaming BIGGIE

The Energy That Changes Everything

It’s July, which means it’s my birthday month, and I’m celebrating in the Caribbean while diving deep into something that determines absolutely everything in your business and relationships: your energy.

If you’ve ever wondered why some people naturally attract opportunities while others struggle to connect, or how successful entrepreneurs maintain positive momentum even during challenging times, this post is going to reveal the game-changing mindset shift that transforms everything.

Step Outside Yourself: The Exercise That Changed My Life

One of the most powerful things I learned in a program to overcome childhood trauma was this concept of stepping outside yourself and observing how you show up. Picture this: you’re sitting where you are right now, but imagine you’re also watching yourself from the outside.

What do you see? Your facial expressions, your body language, how you move your eyes. Do you have “crazy eyes” or are you present and calm? This external observation helps you become more present in any situation and more aligned with the energy you want to project.

Here’s the truth that might sting a little: people love being around people who have good energy. It’s just how it is. If someone around you is constantly negative, complaining, or just bringing down the room, do you want to spend time with them? Of course not.

And here’s what’s heartbreaking—I have people in my life that I love dearly, but I wish they could step outside themselves and see how they’re coming across. When you’re negative all the time, unfortunately, people stop wanting to be around you.

But when you master this skill of self-awareness, you can make anything big happen because you understand how you’re being perceived and can adjust accordingly.

My Morning Energy Routine That Sets Everything in Motion

Every single morning, I intentionally start my day the same way:

First, I pray. I use the Bible app by YouVersion and read devotionals on different topics depending on what I’m going through. Currently, I’m doing the Bible in a year again. This sets me up where the attention isn’t on me—it’s on what I believe and who I believe in.

Then, I journal. Sometimes I meditate, though I’m trying to be more consistent with that. This whole routine takes about 30-45 minutes, and I eat breakfast during this time.

The moment I step outside my house, I make a conscious choice: “This is my day. This might be my last day. This is my day to make somebody’s day a great day.”

I’ve been created for a reason, and I want to go out there and fulfill that purpose. I take a look at myself from outside myself and ask: What’s my mood like? Am I excited? What’s my attitude?

Because I’ve done my devotionals and journaling, I’m in a grateful, appreciative state. I’m excited and ready to meet new people, talk to people, and spread positive energy.

The Spotlight Principle That Changes Everything

I learned something powerful from Ange Simpson in Costa Rica. She said, “My goal is not that the spotlight is on me. My goal is that the spotlight is on you.” Everything she shares tries to bring attention back to other people following her.

When she said that, I was like, “Oh my gosh, I love that.” That’s honestly what I aspire to do all the time.

I used to always want the spotlight. Type-A personalities and people who’ve experienced abandonment or neglect often have a need for attention. People who need attention really just need love. I was like that for a long time, and I still catch myself sometimes.

But I’ve learned that even though attention naturally comes my way because of what I’m doing—leading, helping others achieve big things, being naturally energetic—I don’t want it to be about me. I want it to be about serving others and helping them shine.

When Your Energy Struggles (And That’s Okay)

Let me be clear: there are going to be times when your energy struggles, regardless of how positive you normally are. There could be a death, financial hardship, or depression. I’ve gone through depression where I truly didn’t want to get out of bed or expose that I wasn’t in my normal state.

That’s absolutely natural. Don’t feel like you have to always be “on” and always give good energy. There are plenty of moments every day where I’m not this positive version of myself.

The key is having systems in place—like my morning routine—that help you return to your baseline positive energy when you’re able.

Breaking Free from the “Me, Me, Me” Culture

We’re living in a culture of extreme self-absorption, and I’m ready for that trend to disappear because it’s honestly lame and sad. Nobody really wants to be around that energy.

Now, of course, we need to think about ourselves, love ourselves, and take care of ourselves. But we don’t need to be entitled or demanding that everyone cater to us.

I really hope we can return to a service mentality—making it about the people around you before yourself. Think about Mother Teresa and others who lived this way. Isn’t it better to give than receive? So why don’t we do that more?

In my marriage ministry with Brian, we teach couples to “out-serve your partner.” If you out-serve and out-love your spouse, they’ll typically love you more in return. The more you love somebody, the more they’re going to love you back (and if they don’t, they’re probably the wrong person for you).

The WAIT Technique That Transforms Conversations

Here’s a practical tool Brian and I learned from our friend Larry: WAIT – Ask yourself, “Why Am I Talking?”

If one of us is talking too much, the other will say “WAIT” because often we’re talking just to be heard when it would be better to listen. We have one mouth and two ears for a reason—we’re going to learn more, help more, and be more valuable to people when we’re paying attention and listening rather than just talking.

Building Your Inner Circle of Authentic Relationships

I want to shout out some of the people who exemplify this beautiful, two-way energy in my life:

Sara Donahue is incredible and just gave me a trophy for my 50th birthday that says “World’s Best 50-Year-Old.” She’s one of those friends where it’s always a genuine back-and-forth conversation.

Randi Weinstein is someone I could go months without talking to, but when we do connect, we want to talk for hours. It’s beautiful.

Lisa Buzelli is the kind of friend who doesn’t want to talk about herself at all—it’s all about you. She brings thoughtful gifts and remembers everything about you.

Eva Jayne sends me texts almost every other day just checking in. Every time I’m with her, it’s so special.

Jill Forbes is my honest friend who keeps me in check. She won’t just tell me I’m amazing—she’ll say, “No girl, let’s back it down a couple notches.” You need friends like that.

These are people who ask about my family, remember details, remember my birthday, and are paying attention just like I’m paying attention to them. That’s the kind of inner circle you want to build.

The Connection Between Doing What You Love and Natural Energy

Here’s something I’ve noticed: when you’re doing what you love, your energy is automatically pumped up and excited. I had a call today with someone who left her corporate job six months ago to pursue what she loves. Even though nothing has completely taken off yet and she feels scattered, her energy was incredible because she’s finally doing what lights her up.

You’ll have better energy if you’re doing what you love. I know people who have jobs they hate but still maintain good spirits and positive energy, often because of their faith—which is why I share mine, because it has changed my life.

Your Energy Determines Your Opportunities

The energy you put out determines:

• The people who want to be around you
• The opportunities that come your way
• How you show up for your biggest dreams
• The success and relationships you attract

When you’re around people who are depleting your energy—who are negative about themselves, the world, or you—it starts to creep inside you and take over. That’s why it’s so important to be aware of your energy and protect it while still being generous and service-minded.

Take Action: Transform Your Energy Today

Here’s how to start transforming your energy immediately:

1. Practice the external observation exercise: Step outside yourself and observe how you’re showing up in any situation
2. Create a morning routine: Start with something that aligns your heart and mind before the day begins
3. Ask yourself WAIT: Why am I talking? Listen more than you speak
4. Make it about them: In your next conversation, put the spotlight on the other person first
5. Build your inner circle: Cultivate two-way relationships with people who challenge and support you
6. Protect your energy: Be mindful of energy drains while staying generous in spirit
7. Do what you love: When possible, align your work with what energizes you naturally

The “E” in BIGGIE: Elevate

This is what the “E” in BIGGIE stands for—Elevate. Raise your standards for yourself and create the energy that naturally draws success to you.

Your energy is everything. It’s not just about feeling good (though that matters)—it’s about becoming the kind of person who attracts the opportunities, relationships, and success you’re dreaming of.

People can feel your energy before you even speak. Make sure what they’re feeling draws them in rather than pushes them away.

---

Ready to transform your energy and attract the success you deserve? Join The Brighter Side Society for ongoing support, accountability, and a community of women who are committed to elevating their energy and achieving their biggest dreams.

Listen to the full Episode 18 of Never Stop Dreaming BIGGIE wherever you get your podcasts, and connect with me on Instagram @neverstopdreamingbiggie and @angelpholmes.