Lifelong Girlfriends and Female Friendships: A Tribute to the Women Who Made Me

Some people are forever and some are for a season — but every single one of my lifelong girlfriends and female friendships has left a permanent mark.

Originally wrote July 5, 2012

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Lifelong girlfriends and female friendships have been one of the greatest constants in my life — and when I sit down and really think about the women who have shaped me, I am genuinely overwhelmed with gratitude. I have been lucky enough to have some of the most remarkable friends a person could ever want or need. The most important thing I’ve learned along the way is this: some friendships are forever, and some are perfectly, beautifully for a moment in time. Both kinds matter completely. Both kinds have made me who I am. Here is a tribute to some of the most important lifelong girlfriends and female friendships in my story.

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The Lifelong Girlfriends Who Were There From the Very Beginning

Ashley was my very first friend — ever. We connected through our parents when we were around six months old and stayed best friends for years, until I hit that phase of thinking I was too cool for my own good and we drifted apart. That drift was entirely on me. She could call me today and I would drop everything for her and her family without a second thought. Some lifelong female friendships don’t require constant contact to stay completely real.

Ansley is the girlfriend who has had the single greatest impact on me of anyone in this category. We also met at around six months old and were soul sisters from the very first moment. I lived to be with her. We moved in and out of each other’s lives over the years — as the best lifelong girlfriends often do — but she was always there when it mattered. Our teenage years together were extraordinary. We went to different schools for most of it, but that never once mattered. When she started dating Travis and our circles finally overlapped completely, it was history. We then followed a surfer and moved to Florida together — and those memories are ones I will carry forever, even if I can never fully write about them. I will always be one phone call away for Ansley. Always.

Maggie is my Forrest Gump friend — she walked right up to me on the school bus in first grade, introduced herself when no one else would, and that was that. When we reconnected years later, we spent most of our time together doing wonderfully questionable things. Wild Dunes was our playground, and my memories of the beach will always have Maggie woven through them.

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Female Friendships That Feel Like Family

My sisters — Michele, Toire, and Alys Anne — have always been among my closest female friendships, and I love them on two levels simultaneously: as family and as genuine friends. We have been through peaks, valleys, and mountains together, and we will continue to be. No friendship is more layered or more permanent than the ones you share with the people you grew up alongside.

Alpha Delta Pi deserves its own paragraph, because sorority sisterhood produced more female friendships at one time than anything else in my life. The instant love and support of becoming a sister was something I wasn’t fully prepared for and completely treasured. Spirit weeks, formals, Greek Week parties — and of course breaking every rule, living in the house, and driving Mama Jean absolutely crazy. Enormous lemon drop shot love for my roomies Liz and Jenn. Pi love, forever.

Research on the importance of female friendships consistently shows that close social bonds — especially among women — directly impact health, resilience, and longevity. My ADPi sisters are living proof of every single data point.

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The Female Friendships That Came From Work and Changed Everything

Khaki was technically someone I managed, but we became genuine friends and fun work partners almost immediately — especially the moment she embraced my Pez collection without hesitation, which told me everything I needed to know. Even though we’ve only shared the same city for a few years, she is an important person in my life. We can go a full year without talking and pick right back up as if no time has passed at all. That is the hallmark of a real lifelong female friendship.

Amy is going to have her own letter one day, because she deserves it completely. She came into my life as an intern at the Aquarium and became one of the most genuinely thoughtful friends I have ever had. She was a redhead with a passion for life, the planet, and surfing that was completely infectious. She gave little gifts just because. She remembered every important moment in your life and asked about them. She was the kind of friend who made you better simply by knowing her. Losing Amy to cancer was devastating — she was the first close friend I ever lost, and I think about her all the time. If I ever have a daughter, I know exactly what her name will be. That is how extraordinary Amy was.

Festival girl friends — Lisa, Linn, Ashley, Annie, Melany, Melissa, Sarah, and so many more — represent a category of female friendship that has grown and deepened over years of shared work, shared passion, and shared adventures. The Charleston Wine + Food Festival has given me so much, but the women it has brought into my life are among its greatest gifts.

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New Lifelong Girlfriends and Female Friendships Still Being Built

Friends through my boys have reminded me of something I needed to hear: staying open to new people and new experiences at any stage of life is always worth it. Most of us are too overwhelmed with the logistics of parenthood to actually slow down and connect — but the ones who make that effort are gold. Eva is the standout here — I am completely convinced we have known each other for lifetimes, because that is genuinely how easy and natural our friendship has been from day one. New friendships in adulthood are harder to build and more intentional than the ones we fall into in childhood — which makes them, in many ways, even more meaningful.

My Festival staff — the women I work alongside every day — are more than colleagues. They are family. I know you’re not supposed to become close friends with the people you manage, but I am completely unwilling to apologize for it. They are some of the finest women I know, and I am proud to work with them and lucky to call them friends.

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This is just a sample — a starting point for a list I hope keeps growing for the rest of my life. Lifelong girlfriends and female friendships are one of the greatest gifts a person can have, and I feel that truth every single day.

With love for every woman on this list and every one still to come, Angel

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Learn more about Angel Holmes and everything she’s passionate about at sipindipity.com/angel-holmes.